12:31 AM Brandon: i want to watch people gmail chat, that have good conversations, like you and gene
12:32 AM i would like to watch a whole gmail chat
i would watch it while i fell asleep
if it was on youtube
me: that soudns good
i want to film one once
Brandon: good job with that
me: close up
Brandon: close up?
explain
me: so it is big
the words
12:33 AM and only shows the words
Brandon: just the box
yeah
melville
do it
there is a way to record what happens
on your screen
me: you told me about this
Brandon: i know from the time when i played CS
a computer game
this is something different
people would make movies out of scenes from the game
12:34 AM and they would stage things in the
game to go along with their plot
me: i mean with a video camera
Brandon: they did it with a
program
me: so it only shows the part where the new line comes up
on gmail chat
Brandon: no use of camera necissary
hm
yes okay
that sounds good too
12:35 AM me: my new novel is like 50% gmail chats
from real gmail chats
Brandon: i feel 'lost' in sarcasm
or 'crippled' by it
im serious
me: i felt that way sometimes
12:36 AM does it efel bad
Brandon: i cant write anything without thinking 'im writing something'
it just stops me from writing
because i feel dumb
and if i edit, i only think about it
sarcastically
me: ill send you 'the end of the story'
soon
Brandon: which makes me not
interested
me: what have you been doing
then
Brandon: is this what it is about? i read the deb olin interview
i dont know
me: is what what it is about
Brandon: i have written
12:37 AM only felt bad about everything i wrote,
for example the dicey brown story, i read and feel nothing at all
me: i like it
you said 'is this what it is about?'
what are you talking about
Brandon: i meant, is the davis story similar to this conversation
davis novel
12:38 AM me: no
Brandon: is that why you brought it up, i was wondering
ok
me: no
i dont know
Brandon: ok
sarcasm is killing all actions
me: it is about she having a
relationship with someone
Brandon: its bad
me: and then it also includes her trying to write the novel about it
you are just having a sarcastic day
or week
Brandon: that seems good
12:39 AM 3 or 4 days
i wrote something and gave it to blake for LC but said 'i will edit it more', he read it and said, yes good i want it, but now i read it and feel nothing and edit only so it appears good
the sarcasm is taking over
12:40 AM i cant do anyhting
me: after this you will be changed
the sarcasm will change you
Brandon: i need to figure something ouit
yes
me: at least then you will be more original than other people
and interesting
Brandon: something needs to change
yes
me: you are becoming more original
by experiencing things that are abnormal
to most people
Brandon: i think this is the way things are going
but
its like a 'test'
12:41 AM and then this is viewed with sarcasm
because other people have done this thing
the whole thing is a cliche
i feel trapped
12:42 AM i feel like my sarcasm is too intense
i would like to watch this gmail chat
me: other people havent' done
this thing
Brandon: im not sure
me: who has
12:43 AM Brandon: test,
i dont know who has
me: no one has
we will have gmail chats
once a week
and record it
i will record it with my camera
Brandon: haha
me: brandon and tao gmail chat 1/23/088
youtube
12:44 AM Brandon: okay
me: youtube account called gmail chat
gmailchat
Brandon: do you have a camera?
me: i just got an idea
yes
Brandon: didnt you say you were
buying one on ebay
me: i just need to buy minidiscs
i got one from someone
a literary magazine called GMAIL CHAT
take submissions of gmail chats
Brandon: DVRs?
me: dvr, i dont know
Brandon: yes
that sounds good
12:45 AM me: i got another idea a few
days ago
Brandon: that should be a sub
thing of MUUMUU
me: a literary magazine caleld MAGIC EIGHTBALL
a magic eightball is the editor
and accepts things or doesn't
Brandon: haha
hmm
i dont know about that idea
alot of shit might appear
me: terrible things dont get published though
it would be funny to see something
really horrible get published
12:46 AM Brandon: so it would be novel
me: yes original
Brandon: hmm
me: today i was thinking about
myself
Brandon: that sounds like a
good promotion thing
me: and i thought i would like bad things to happen to me and to experience long periods of depression and loneliness because then i would become 'more original' or something
i would like to feel more alienated
i mean
12:47 AM Brandon: have you started feeling unoriginal
is that why
me: and then i thought that
all i care about is things that are original
Brandon: yes
me: no, i was just thinking
Brandon: i agree
me: about boredom and excitement
Brandon: hm
i feel the need to have 'my onw voice'
i worry
it consumes my being
its like 40% of my brain
12:48 AM me: i don't think about having
my own voice i dont think
Brandon: that though
t
me: when i think about my novel
i just think about
Brandon: i feel too influenced
by everything ive read
me: i dont even know what it
hink about
Brandon: i need to go to the
woods
me: i just think that if i work on it for long enough time it will be 'original' just because it will be such a concentrated form of one thing
or something
Brandon: yes
i think that is a good maxim
12:49 AM me: maxim
Brandon: ive used maxim alot
and never really known the meaning
i just use it
me: i watched a documentary
on scrabble players
Brandon: what was it called?
i watched a documentary calle dwordpaly
before
me: one person said he never
had a real life. he said his routine now was waking up at night, playing
a few games of scrabble, and then that was it
Brandon: wordplay
me: that was about puzzles or something
word something
word wars
12:50 AM Brandon: crossword
hmm
heath ledger died and i read an interview
no
an article
he was quoted as saying 'i feel like everything i do is the same'
and i felt a strong empathy
me: haha
haha he said that
12:51 AM Brandon: yes in an article,
i googled, i think 'heath ledger dead'
me: i keep thinking 'haha'
i dont know
Brandon: is it the laughing or just that word
i have thoughts
12:52 AM my thoughts havent changed for like a month
my unemployed thoughts will be like a phase
because they are all the same
me: the word
Brandon: and i think they will end
the word 'haha'
me: my brain feels really empty a lot of the time now
completely empty
12:53 AM Brandon: whenever my brain feels
empty, its not empty, it just says, this is boring, or, what should
i do
me: then i read about it in
lydia davis' book
Brandon: there is never something empty
if its empty it says one of those two
thoughts
me: yes empty is not the word
i will type something from the book'
12:54 AM never mind
i will type it later into a blog post
Brandon: did you send that yet
no
because you will type it
nevermind
thank you in the future for sending
12:55 AM me: i have gotten a lot of rashes on my body that itch
i feel senile
Brandon: last night i thought
alot about blogging, and came to an idea that i will post alot more
about inanimate objects like fruit and couches because no one can hate
you for those
me: senile and asexual
Brandon: what, rashes, why
me: i dont know
Brandon: thats strange
me: people can still hate you
12:56 AM Brandon: yes kind of
me: for your sentences
Brandon: but if you are always posting about nothing
i dont know
im afraid
i hate blogging
'fuck life'
me: people dont hate you if you just post a link
one link
12:57 AM without commentary
Brandon: i have noticed a trend
in your link posts you dont get comments
in my link posts
me: yes
in whose link posts
12:58 AM if i make a lot of links i dont get comments
if i made a post saying why dave eggers sucks i would get a lot of comments
12:59 AM my novel goes from march, 2006 to march 2007, to now
march 2008
march, 2006, march 2007, march 2008
1:00 AM Brandon: i dont know what you
were saying i didnt get it
me: Brandon: i have noticed
a trend
in your link posts you dont get comments
in my link posts
me: yes
in whose link posts
if i make a lot of links i dont get comments
if i made a post saying why dave eggers sucks i would get a lot of comments
Sent at 12:58 AM on Thursday
me: my novel goes from march, 2006 to march 2007, to now
march 2008
march, 2006, march 2007, march 2008
Brandon: okay
okay
1:01 AM march 2008 hasnt happened
there are different levels though i
think
me: i dont know where to end
the novel
Brandon: of link posts
just keep writing
until an end is received
me: i have urges to just pusblish 'a piece of shit' but original in some way
1:02 AM like being original in talking about
boring pointless things
Brandon: a piece of shit
internet feels fucked right now
yes but thats what my thing in dicey
brown was
me: but not an entire novel
Brandon: thats all i feel i can do
1:03 AM thats all i want to do
me: that is good, it is original
Brandon: but im stopped because
of the boring pointless thing
me: your story was original
Brandon: i could write a novel like that i am sure
but i feel bad about it
because its about nothing
me: you should do it
Brandon: just a person thats
incredibly bored
me: that is good
Brandon: i dont know, i fear
1:04 AM a fear exists
me: you can write other novels
later
Brandon: novel shits
me: did you see that girl again
Brandon: novels should be retitled 'novel shits'
no, just the one time
me: i want to name my novel
something original
Brandon: we talk on IM
1:05 AM me: i dont know what
Brandon: i feel asinine
i thought that while i saw you were
typing
me: i feel asexual
Brandon: ill send you something
me: my crotch itches
1:06 AM from dry skin i think
we should submit a gmail chat to blake butler
his magazine
Brandon: this one
okay
1:07 AM yes one gmail chat
sounds good
me: okay
read his blog
it has some solicaition thing
Brandon: i already have one
in his next issue
me: this chat is revealing
Brandon: he would take something from you too
yes
who should edit it
me: send him this
i dont awnt to edit it
Brandon: you should because i already have something
no i am already submitting something
else
me: what do yuo mean
edit
Brandon: it will be by tao lin
me: like change it
1:08 AM Brandon: i dont know
me: this can be about 'the end
of the story' by lydia davis
Brandon: put it in word doc
i sent you the thing
it has an endless series of sarcasm
me: it looks long
Brandon: i just qualified myself the entire time
the whole thing is a qualification for even typing
i dont kno
w
you submit
1:09 AM i have filled my LC space with the
story
me: i dont know
Brandon: i dont know either
me: what did you submit
i'm sending you a small paragraph from
my novel
Brandon: a story about being alienated from the furniture in my room
okay
1:10 AM me: but that doesnt fit into what he posted
he was soliciting for
Brandon: he asked for it yesterday,
in the morning, before any post i saw, he asked for it in my comments
section, and i sent it, and he said yes good i want it
me: i'm going to email him this.
it 'feels' 'original', to do this
Brandon: okay good
good.
me: i'm titing it
1:11 AM titling it
Brandon: titting
me: 'the end of the story, by
lydia davis'
Brandon: haha
that made me laugh
me: people will google that and find this
i would rather read this
than reviews
i'm emailing now
Brandon: send tht
that
